My heart is sore.
I have this ache inside. Sometimes I can ignore it, can just go on like it doesn't exist, but sometimes it brings me to my knees.
I enjoyed having the past three days off, but when I'm not running at 120 mph I feel like there is a wave cresting just behind me. Waiting to come down and sweep me into the abyss. All weekend I fought the ache, fought the desire to crumple. To curl into a ball and howl at the pain of it all.
He's gone. Get over it. Stop crying for something that doesn't exist anymore.
God it hurts.
Keep moving.
There is no getting over it lady! You lost someone who meant so much to you and was a big part of your life. You are not crying over something that doesn't exist anymore because your love is still there! It's been a little over 8 months since my dad passed and I still have moments where it just hits me...I will never see him, hug him, talk to him again :( With my birthday coming up, it sucks even more. I never expecteda year ago that he wouldn't be here for my 30th. It's so natural to have the feelings you do! You loved your dad with all your heart!!! Let it out when these feelings come...you have to. If you keep it in you will eventually explode and it could cause major problems. I have a cousin who lost who mom a few years ago to cancer(they were very close too). She held in her feelings for a whole year. When she finally let it out she went crazy. She almost lost her job, husband and even kids because of the severe depression she went into. you have to let yourself morn when you need to!!
ReplyDelete