Studying

The studying boner. I had it for an hour or so and then it went away. I'm sitting here staring at my notes hoping that something will stick and so far it's a no go. I did get through the last 2 chapters (out of five the test is on) and manage to start back over going through Chapter 1 again but it's tedious.

I shouldn't complain about this, I've still got two years left to finish before it's over. Plus, I'm sure it's going to get worse before it gets better. But that's life, and this is one more hurdle to jump. I'm sure the next two years is going to whip by pretty fast. Maybe once I'm a nurse I'll feel more like an adult. I doubt it, but maybe.

It seems like things just kind of fell into place over the last year or so. It had been pretty rough after college, but once I figured out what I wanted to do with my life and got the ball rolling things started to work out. It helps that I got to start this journey with Jim. Both of us starting out on our own, but together, I think made it easier for us to cope with suddenly being responsible for rent, groceries, utilities, health insurance.. all of the technicalities associated with being a grown up. I'm 25 but I don't feel like a grown up... I still feel like a kid sometimes.

**** This next bit is rambling because I'm wicked hormonal right now****

After I finish school I want to start a family. Losing Dad has made me yearn for children. Maybe as something to fill the void and mostly because it hurt so bad accepting that he will never be apart of my future childrens lives. I want my kids to get to be as much a part of my parent's and grandparents lives as possible. So I dream of babies... waiting for the day I don't have to think 'Not Yet.'