Jim's picking up some overtime so I'm on my own tonight. It's strange coming home at midnight to a dark house, I rarely beat him home when I'm working the evening shift and the kitties certainly don't like it when I do. Both were waiting bleary eyed at the back door when I got home, with baleful stares for whyyyyyyy wasn't I home a long time agooooo??? and wherrrrrre is Daddy Jim???

Tonight I had the same assignment I'd had last weekend. These patients are starting to feel like my children I've taken care of them for so long. It's a good thing and a bad thing I guess. Nice cause you get to know what to expect and how your night is going to be, bad in that you can get a bit attached to them... and we're pretty sure that one is in the 'actively dying' phase. Somebody said it's bound to happen in the next two days. I just hope it's not on my shift, they're still a full code which means that when the time comes it's going to be a three ring circus trying to force them to live. I know I probably sound pretty callous about this, but with this particular patient there is a strong feeling from most of the staff (myself included) that dying would be a kindness because their life right now is nothing but suffering and pain. The person who used to live in that body has long since withdrawn and the shadow left behind is in torment.

Speaking of torment, I had some crazy attack this morning. I woke up around 6am with abdominal pain in two places, low along my pubic area (like severe cramps) and a sharp stabbing pain just underneath my right ribcage that went through to my back. I thought at first maybe I'd just eaten something bad and needed to use the loo, so I hobbled my way in to the bathroom where I curled almost in half, crying in pain. It hurt so bad I was nauseated. Nothing was moving in the bathroom and I was thinking that I might need to go to the hospital so I staggered back into the bedroom where I crawled into bed, crying and gasping in pain and woke up Jim. Apparently after curling up in the fetal position for a few minutes with Jim rubbing my back and acting thoroughly concerned I apparently passed out. I don't know if I fell asleep or what, but when I woke up a few hours later the pain was much less severe. It's been a dull ache ever since then but I really don't know what caused it. Just doesn't seem worth going to the ER or Doctors about yet. If it had stayed like this am I was ready and set to go to the ER but whatever that was passed and I seem to be on the mend. I'll keep and eye on it and we'll see. It's probably just that time of the month coming soon, who knows.

Oh yeah, guess who got an A in Anatomy and Physiology 1?

That's right! This girl!

Now if only I can learn to tolerate my A&P2 professor and do as well in his class.... fingers crossed!