tales from the sixth floor...

When this weekend rolled around I was extremely reluctant to go to work. Most people don't think that's strange but I love my job, I like going to work. Saturday I was just having a bad day, I was feeling very anxious and panic stricken about being around people. It took everything I had just to get dressed and go face the masses.

I'm glad I was able to go though because it turned out to be a great weekend. We had a fantastic team working and the RN I was teamed up with is a riot. Some of the things we saw this weekend though... oy. Horrors beyond words. But still funny :)

I have patient x, who has been incontinent for quite some time now. They're dying of cancer and are going through hell (almost the same thing as my Dad but far more extensive, but the family wont stop trying to cure him.) Because of ridiculous amounts of diarrhea X's rear end is very raw. We've been medicating to try and prevent the diarrhea so when I got to work on Saturday the day shift told me, "Good news! No poops today!" Fantastic! That's much better than the 15 times a day it was a few weeks ago.

I went on with my starting duties, checking vitals, when I get a call from my nurse, "Laurel, are you free to give me a hand? Patient X had a little accident." So I grab some clean linens and warm washcloths and head down the hall to their room. I knew from the smell that we were in for some bad news.

Now, because of their very raw rear end we've moved patient X onto a special sand/air bed. It's basically a big bag of sand that constantly blows warm air up against the patient so they're body is... floating sort of (that's the most basic explanation I can give.) That still didn't prepare us for what we saw after we gowned up in our isolation garb (gowns, gloves, masks) and pulled back the sheet.

Imagine this:



Oh. The. Horror.

You have no idea, a bubbling pool of doom. DOOOOOOM. LoL. My eyes flew up to Annie (my RN) and we immediately started cracking up. (Pt X is non-responsive at this point, and not aware of us.) The look on her face as we both start gagging was priceless. "Don't do it Annie, don't you dare do it!!" "I wont if you wont!" We giggled for a bit while getting pt X cleaned up and the bed changed and went on with our shift.

Oh the interesting things you see while working on a med/surg floor.

I've had patients so anxious to leave that they literally ripped their own IV's out when it was time to leave. Patients who lost it and tried to use a portable toilet seat to break through a sixth floor window to 'escape from the leg pumps that were trying to kill them'. Patients who get incredibly jealous that you don't spend as much time in their room as in the room next door where someone is much sicker than they are. People who decide to 'hold it' while their grandkids visit and then proceed to shit all over the floor as soon as they stand up. Patients who are in for bowel obstructions and have an NG tube in yet still sneak food and then wonder why they end up heaving all night. Or the patient with the colostomy that they've had for years and yet it's too "icky" so they wont take care of it themselves, they make their spouse do it for them!!! EWW! Who was such a baby about it that they let it burst instead of taking care of it themselves!

And yet, with all of this ickiness and bullshit, I still love my job. It's fascinating every single day.